To begin with, the drunken paranoid is defined by Luigi Giussani to mean the mentality of the youth to follow something as far as they want. When what they are following no longer fits in their particular agenda, all their buts and ifs are just cover for their reluctance to be open and genuinely love truth and goodness.
This definition provides a basis for my exploration of a love crisis in the millennial today and I will begin by attempting to define the key word.
Love. Surely everyone has heard about this if not experienced it. So, what is love? I asked students at the Law Development Centre in 2019. Okay one girl student raised her hand and answered. Love is selflessness. Ooooh! pretty good you know! It’s a beautiful definition.
Another student called Kalenzi defined it as an attraction to the opposite sex for fun and reproduction. The truth is that there can never be one definition of love as people have different experiences of what they go through in love and how they perceive it.
Anthropologist Charles Lindholm defined love to mean any intense attraction that involves the idealization of the other within an erotic context, with expectation of enduring some time into the future.
I shall contend that to define love, one must first establish origins of love, as an attempt to define it with out addressing a question of originality means scheming.
In most cases most of us when asked cannot clearly define and streamline what is for us in a love relationship. We follow projects and therefore become slaves of the same. We have substituted a genuine love adventure with a force of feelings and materialism. In the end there is no self-development, some gain materials, sex among others but in the end, they lose themselves, they lose truck of their identity and ultimate beauty.
I define love as a search for meaning, it is a journey in self-discovery, it is a search for the meaning of existence. It is an introduction to the totality of reality and existence. Therefore, love has got origins in human search for novelty (newness, originality). Love is a vocation, it is a calling, for one to live that calling, a partner is essential. By a calling I mean the constant call for meaning in everything we encounter, everything we do. The purpose of love is to mold a new human being, when your partner does not help you discover yourself, what you’re meant for, then you become a slave.
Love emerges from an inherent human emptiness.
The need for Another, that other is not a partner, it is destiny(God). However to reach this destiny, a union is essential and that’s where a partner becomes paramount. A partner is a mere guide to this destiny. That is the status of a partner
There is no such a thing as satisfaction in human life, I have seen several young men and women attempt to satisfy their fellows but they have all ended in disappointment. Satisfaction only happens to beings of different class. Not even sexual satisfaction can happen, otherwise cheating would be a myth. Perhaps the term should be changed by psychologists to nearing satisfaction. There can never be satisfaction of a human being by a fellow human being. This therefore means that our love partners guide us in identifying what can satisfy us and this is none other than God. They merely act as channel.
Meaning that disappointment begins the moment, we perceive our relationship as the right place to get satisfied. The destiny of love is God. A partner that does not aid the other to attain the ultimate desire which is God is not worth. It follows therefore that love is an adventure into the ultimate (God)
The purpose of love is to fashion a new human being, a being that has identified himself or herself. A love journey is a longing for human basic needs which are;
It follows that these basic needs cannot be provided or fulfilled by our partners but they simply guide us and show us the way to achieve these total needs. We must agree that these needs are achievable only through the destiny (God). To think that our partners can satisfy us is a real paradox(self-contradiction) because they are as vulnerable as we and this is demonstrated in the sadness that follows even in the midst of our loved ones.
We have been slapped by our hearts several times but we don’t feel it. For example, one says if I ever get that X it shall be enough, I will never desire any other woman. This is grade 1 ignorance as one can’t be satisfied by a partner. This should not be interpreted to mean that satisfaction is obtained in changing partners. Satisfaction is obtained from the realization that man is infinite in nature, that love of X or Y can only become true love if it is focused on a greater discovery of human being that is that true love is realized in the companionship with destiny (God)
Without this awareness sadness predominates simply because our heart feels something is lacking. When people fail to realize this, they resort to adding and changing partners.
But I can assure you that this simply adds sadness because our heart is meant for greater horizons. Tens and hundreds of partners cannot be a resting place for a human heart.
What dominates the millennial today is scheming in love. Love is not an enterprise, humans have no control over it. Its origin is the mystery and its destiny is mysterious. It can’t be reduced to a mathematical formula or a chemical equation. True love drives man without control, man just follows like a child following the mother. The child does not care because with the mother the child is not afraid, the child with a mother can face anything.
A loved one is supposed to live this mother to child relationship by listening to his/her heart closely. Where there is solitude or sadness it means that the relationship is not working.
The drunken paranoid substitutes love with a force of feelings and when things don’t work, they resort to shifting blame to everything instead of facing truth.
Satisfaction in a relation is not obtained from a sexual party, sex is good and it must be done but love is greater than this. The ultimate satisfaction in a relationship is self-discovery, discovering the meaning of existence. Thus, love and any other desire such as politics, education, a desire for a new phone are not different because at the end or in the midst of all these, human insufficiency predominates. Thus, showing that humanity is meant for the ultimate which is God.
The author of “THE SLAVERY IN MODERN EDUCATION”
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