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THE IDEAL MARRIAGE: A must read for the married and the marriage candidates

Having read my thoughts on various subjects including but not limited to education, many people have insisted that I should outline my thought on marriage given that it is one institution without an independent school and thus the participants are left to swim on their own.

“…. Marriage is like a journey to the mirror; it is a journey to self-revelation. It is a beautiful adventure to the highest human happiness. No human happiness can be equated to marriage. Marriage cannot be reduced to disappointments with individuals, it goes beyond the individual limitation terrain to the ultimate meaning of existence. It is mysterious and destined for the mystery, it cannot be sustained by formulas or a series of calculations, it dwells in God’s chambers…it follows that one can only properly live in marriage when he or she understands the tenets of marriage. These principles are not unique to education.” See: Kamurinde John on THE SLAVERY IN MODERN EDUCATION.

Below are rules of marriage engagement:
-Love
-Happiness
-Joy and Justice.

These constitute the basic structure of man and marriage. They are the foundation of marriage and are the primary reason for the search of marriage partners and marriage institution. The above is a tradition upon which marriage should be entered.

It must on the steering and the standard of judgment in every day marriage happiness and difficulties. That marriage is for me, it is for you and for us to discover God because he constitutes the meaning of our very existence. Without the above awareness, marriage simply becomes a scheme.

It becomes an enterprise purely detached from our selves. And the next course of action will be to fight for position, status and property thus marking its subsequent collapse. The rules cited above are the minimum threshold for the existence of marriage.

It however must be noted that, marriage partners are not the ultimate providers of these needs/rules. They simply guide to the ultimate provider which is God. In short marriage is a search for the ultimate needs of humanity which are love, happiness etc. as stated above.

it is a search for a correspondence with a human heart which heart is defined by the above rules/basic needs. Marriage is a universal heart principle premised in every human being. It is a journey to the destiny (God). The marriage crisis arises when we reduce marriage to sex, property, class, rulership etc. These are not sustainable and are subject to eventual fatigue as they lack an inherent correspondence with a human heart.

True marriage begins when we discover that we are not married to prestige, class, God, angels etc. Marriage is a personal journey undertaken by you to discover your greater meaning existence with the help of your partner.

It is a union of two limited humans for a life long journey to the destiny. We must discover that we have one life, that not even our children can live for us. Thus, we must explore its meaning fully. That marriage is not for the children but two people in marriage. Children are by products of the event of marriage who have their own journey to the destiny. Though we are called upon to guide them.

“…. understanding marriage is a divine duty for man because marriage is an independent phenomenon. To know, love and embrace marriage is to know God. Marriage roots are not originated from man. It is rather an avenue through which humans discover themselves deeper. It is a fundamental life event that gives meaning to human existence.

Thus, marriage and education are synonymous. They are all a journey to self-realization and affirmation as human beings.” See: Kamurinde John on THE SLAVERY IN MODERN EDUCATION

To begin with, marriage is not identified with a person or gender. It is a union through which life progresses, it is a union that gives meaning to existence. For example, you hear people say because of so and so, I hated marriage. I will never get married again. What kind of thinking is that? The definition of marriage cannot be reduced to Kamurinde, Fred or even Faith.

It can’t be reduced to an individual. Personal frustrations in marriage have been used as a base by anti-marriage crusaders. Marriage is unequaled. It can’t be equated to money, personal character, education and titles because it is hope. It is a continuation of a divine tradition which man cannot exist without.

I am one person that believes in marriage as a lifelong covenant but still believes in divorce where it is unavoidable. Thus, divorce should be one of the rarest of the rare circumstances. I must say that divorce cannot be the end of human association with marriage institution otherwise the same would mean loss of faith in humanity and eventual self-destruction.
Below are some of the core origins of divorce and anti-marriage sentiments.
1. Class/struggle for property.

The major cause of divorce is property struggle. It seems modern thinkers have failed to reconcile class interest and marriage. This is also rooted in ill education which only prepares students to have skill as if life is only defined in employment. In the hierarchy of youth needs, property is above marriage. People marry property not partners. When I say marriage is sacred, I mean it is one institution that is attached to you as human being. It is your relative, it is your origin. Marriage gives a feeling that you can’t get in property.

When you’re at the highest rang of your happiness marriage is with you, when you’re at your death bed, marriage is with you. In other words, marriage is you and for you. Thus, it is fatal to view marriage through a lens of materialism.

2. Poor education.

Like I already noted in The Slavery in Modern Education, marriage and education are identical. They have got the same origin and destiny. The primary purpose for education is to venture to higher happiness and self-meaning. The same is for marriage. The destiny of education and marriage is love, happiness, joy and justice. It follows that these features can only be found in God. The major dilemma in modern education is that it does not educate the basic structure of man. it seems to educate man like a robot.

It is only through this awareness, that education and marriage gain meaning. Partners or educators are just guiding to the aforementioned needs. They primary duty of partners is to hold our hands in the journey to theses needs. They are not providers but helpers in the journey to the ocean of these needs which is God. Pay attention, the destiny of education is not acquisition of skill and money.

Education is not a rival to marriage. In fact, education must guide in the deeper understanding of marriage. Likewise, marriage should be a basis to understand education better. Marriage cannot be substituted with education and property in the disguise of self-independence. Others origins include: -poverty
-rigid culture
-cultural influence.

In conclusion, marriage is the origin of the family and subsequently the foundation of society. Its uncertainties affect the progress of society.

BY KAMURINDE JOHN:
A lawyer, an author and a guest writer @ Ug Standard
[email protected]
Tel.256 708157586(WhatsApp)

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