Kakwenza Rukirabashaija is an exiled Novelist, Master of Laws (LLM) Candidate Europa Universität
Recently, I was on the train idly browsing through the internet and I landed on videos of Samuel Kakande and other religious leaders–who pass off as city prophets–whose names are unknown to me and I have no idea who they are.
Their sessions provided a sensible comparator, appearing like some untaxed comedy show and I wondered why Alex Muhangi is being bludgeoned indifferently by the Uganda Revenue Authority (URA) into paying comedy taxes. Such indifference incurs discrimination.
For now, and for the purpose of this article, let us focus on the person whom I know very well–Samuel Kakande.
In that particular video, Kakande would hold oranges in his hands and throw one at a targeted plump congregant who as a result floundered, wobbled and fell in a heap without letting go of the fruit.
I do not know the legitimate purpose of such an act as shown in the video but I presume it was to imperiously demonstrate his supernatural power before his acquiescent sheep.
Another video, the same prophet was dribbling and controlling the ball in his possession and whoever would come near him to attempt to counter the juggle, would stagger to a different direction as though possessed, and fall in a heap.
There are several slapstick videos which, by algorithm, showed on my browser. There is another where he was exorbitantly selling ballpoint pens to candidates while prophesying to them that they would pass their exams with flying colors. The holy rice, holy water… among other unbelievable acts in the videos really discombobulated me.
While I well know that impugning this man’s assumed mastery at hawking prophecy and evangelism will attract mobbing harassment from his chamchas, I am well prepared to educate anyone who might come up to counter challenge me.
To begin with, freedom to practise any religion is protected by our Constitution of the Republic of Uganda 1995 as amended under Article 29(1)(c).
There is no doubt about that and on that basis, I respect Kakande and several others like him including witches to practice whatever they think is a religion or belief. Article 7 of the same Constitution pronounces that Uganda shall not adopt any state religion, so it is even illegal for Gen Yoweri Museveni to call for a national prayer breakfast at the State House funded by the taxpayers.
The only limitation on religion under our Constitution is Article 43 (2)(c) which provides that ‘the public interest in this article shall not permit any limitation of the enjoyment of the rights and freedoms prescribed by this chapter beyond what is acceptable and demonstrably justifiable in a free and democratic society, or what is provided in this Constitution’
To me, this limitation is doubtful jurisprudence since by interpretation it seems the public interest here that is clear are acts that are injurious to oneself or others and attract a criminal liability.
Looks like such is only applicable to witch doctors and not these Kampala hawkers of fake prophecy and miracles.
Kakande and his fellow ‘pastors’ indubitably pretend with falsehoods so that the gullible sheep can give them money in form of offerings and tithe which is used to enrich themselves and they are aware of that, that is why they compete against each other for believers or call them customers.
There is a video which went viral, of a pastor dipping his hand into the cleavage of a woman’s breasts and pulling out something indescribable which he called witchcraft. The sheep believed him.
My concern is the parliament’s failure to enact a law to regulate the actions of these people, some of whom masquerade as men of God but their actions are immoral, disagreeable to the senses and we need an ex post facto law against it–meaning that what they have been doing does not incur any criminal offense now but after the new law, such gimmicks will be illegal and punishable.
The new law should be based on the view that while one would believe whatever one pleases, one’s religious acts like gimmicking and cajoling of gullible people to give money, or being in those shrines 24/7 even during time of work, unnecessary noise and other practices the law may deem nonsensical, are to be regulated in the interest of our society and other dominant interests. We have more shrines than manufacturing industries.
You, the reader of this, will agree with me that these men and women owning shrines everywhere do so for nothing but extractive survival interests but hiding themselves in religion. That is why they begin from scratch and then after several years of stand-up shtick defined by contrivance, begin to collect and transport money to the banks using bullion vans.
You will never find such religious loss-leaders in the modern world because the acts of religion are regulated by the law but everyone is free to believe everything without state interference.
The writer, Kakwenza Rukirabashaija is an exiled Novelist, Master of Laws (LLM) Candidate Europa Universität
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