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My wife eventually committed suicide, she could not live with the guilt of cheating (Part V)

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For the last five days, we have been running series about a man who discovered to his horror that his wife of nine years was cheating on him. To make matters worse, she was cheating on him with his brother who is is HIV positive.

If you missed the first four parts, they are listed below in our stories sections.

In the final part of the series today, the man eventually confronted his cheating wife and brother head on. Thereafter things changed rapidly for them in their relationship to a point where the woman took her life. Read On.

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I kicked the bedroom door open, a certain type of rage from nowhere had overcome me.
I could feel its pangs eating through me, consuming me, and there they were, my wife on top of the man that I had grown up looking up to.
Words alone can’t describe the look on their faces when they saw me. It was like they had seen a ghost, I could see the shock on their faces.
I took a flower vase that was at a stand right next to our door and flung it at them, it missed them by a whisker. They were both getting up, each scrambling for anything they could get to cover their nakedness.
“I’ll kill you both today! I screamed reaching for the next flower vase, but someone held my hands, it was Jerry, I hadn’t heard him coming in.
“OMG.” was all he kept repeating the moment he spotted Jack.
“How could you do this to me Jack? How? Why my wife of all the people? Couldn’t you find another woman? Have you already infected her with HIV? Does she know you are positive??!!
“WHAT?” Jerry and Linnet exclaimed at the same time. One look at Linnet’s face and I knew she didn’t know that her lover was positive.
Jack tried defending himself. He said that Linnet had made advances at him and he had fought them back until the devil came over him and he gave in
. As for his status he said he thought Linnet knew and so he never really felt the need to tell her. In the middle of it all, Linnet passed out.
Jerry is a doc, he took care of her and when she came to, she was on the floor crying hysterically.
Jack tried to leave but I blocked him with the support of Jerry. I wasn’t going to let him leave until his wife Cathy got there to witness what was going on. We refused to let any of them wear their clothes.
On so many different times I charged towards him with clenched fists but Jerry kept holding me back.
When Cathy got there and got info on all that was going on, she broke down so bad and when she was done, she told Jack that their marriage was over and that she was getting a divorce attorney.
She spat on Linnet’s face and told her she could have him and then stormed out of the house with Jack running behind her apologizing. We let him go.
Linnet was left pleading for a second chance and at the same time crying herself blue at the realization that she could have gotten the virus.
I told her to get dress, forced her into the car and had Jerry drive us to a hospital to get tested. All through the way, my heart was pounding so wildly. There’s nothing as bad as getting infected when you have been faithful all your life.
The results came back and there was another rude shock of the day. I tested negative and she tested positive. I couldn’t believe it until we again drove to different facility and had the tests done.
It was like the God I served had rewarded me for all my years of doing good in my marriage and life.
I didn’t understand how it was possible for her to have had the virus and not infected me even though we had always never used protection and it took a whole hour of Jerry explaining it all to me before it fully sunk in.
We drove Linnet to her sister’s place and left her there crying, still pleading and in shock of all that had unfolded.
The days that followed were the hardest. Breaking the news to my mum and sisters was the toughest thing ever. I had my sister take Keagan to live with them for sometime.
My mum called for a meeting between Jack and I but I never showed up. I knew where the conversation would lead, she was going to ask me to forgive him but never in a thousand years would I forgive for ruining my family.
Of all the women he could have had he chose the love of my life.
We were family, he was the brother I never had, he crossed boundaries, crossed a line he never should have even gotten close to in the first place, family isn’t supposed to do family like he did me.
After nine months of begging from Linnet and reconciliation talks from both families, I accepted her back.
You see, I loved this woman, she and I had come from a far, we had been there for each other through the toughest of moments, she was my life and so not even her infidelity, her betrayal of the worst order or the fact that she was now positive could keep me away from her.
It was going to be a lot of work but I was willing to put in the time and the work to build our shattered marriage again.
During one of our counselling sessions, when I asked for closure, I wanted to know what had driven her into stepping out of our marriage and its the one thing she didn’t have an answer for.
It was hard for me to let it go or to even trust her again but my son needed both his parents and I wanted nothing more than our once happy home back, love can make one stupid and blind, I know, I’ve been there.
One Friday evening, with Keagan away at a friend’s place for a sleepover and with Linnet and I having planned to have a date night like we always did in the past.
I got home having picked for her some flowers, her favorites, ready to take her to a high end hotel in town where I had made reservations for .
From the moment I got to the house, something seemed eerily wrong.
There was total silence, not a single sound and for a moment I wondered if perhaps she had forgotten about our date and fallen asleep.
I got to our bedroom and was met by a sight no man should ever set his eyes on. Hanging in our bedroom was my Linnet, her eyes plain white, her tongue sticking out and on the floor was a letter.
In the letter she said over and over how sorry she was for letting Keagan and I down. She said she was grateful for the fact that I had given her a second chance but she couldn’t go on living with the virus.
She said her life was worthless and that she was better off dead. She confessed to not having been taking her medication because she had never fully accepted her status.
She asked me to take good care of Keagan and to pass her apologies to her family.
A week later, we laid her to rest. She broke my heart for the final time when she took away her life. Life has since lost meaning. There are days when I don’t feel like getting out of bed.
Some days are manageable but most are plain impossible. I don’t know what I will be able to tell nd not tell my son when he finally becomes of age.
Seasons have passed but healing for me has never come. Depression almost took away my life.
Some days I go to bed wishing never to see daylight again but then Keagan crosses my mind and I give myself a thousand other reasons why I must get through this, for him.
Jack and Cathy got divorced and Jack is currently in his second marriage. I have never laid eyes on him since that fateful night.
There are days when I want to walk up to his place and blow his head off but I know that that will never restore back what he stole from me, my family, my beautiful wife, my happiness, my sanity, my life.
I don’t see myself ever loving again, I don’t want to, I will never want to.
I also don’t know if the silent tears I shed in silence at night will ever make me feel someday.

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